Disney's Remake Factory is at it again, this time churning out a new version of that animated classic, Dumbo! But don't worry, they've taken out all of the troubling stuff, and replaced it with...uh...um... Let's listen to Snooty and Goon!
An American remake of a 2011 foreign film that people could watch anyway if they just turned on subtitles? How could this not be a huge hit?!? Well, Snooty and Goon are here to tell you how.
Why? Why is this a thing? Why again? Why not do it any differently from the original? There are so many "whys" in this remake, and no answers. So trust Snooty and Goon to get to the bottom of it all.
It's the dawn of the shared universe that no one wanted (unless you count Dracula Untold, which we absolutely do). Trek with Snooty and Goon through the deserts of Iraq and the secret underground hoopla of London as they follow Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe in their quest to milk as much money out of cheesy movie monsters as possible.
It's a tale as old as time, and it sure as hell feels like it. Captain Action drops in for a film that might be out of his wheelhouse, but is not as immune to criticism as Disney might think, which Snooty and Goon are happy to prove.
We're going three levels deep on this dive: a remake of a remake of a classic Japanese film. Don your spurs and saddle up with Snooty and Goon for the most expensive game of cowboys and indians you'll see all year!
The only witch I want to find in the woods is a sand witch! Ha-haa! But seriously, this movie is terrible, and you should never go actively looking for paranormal crap in the forest. Camp responsibly.
This dragon can't be slain or tamed, but Snooty and Goon are going to do their best to befriend the titular gentle giant in what is a surprisingly quiet, peaceful, thoughtful children's movie. Just don't draw aggro, and you should be fine.
Fair warning to you all: this is a deeply biased review. We won't even pretend to be objective. If you're cool with that, have a listen! If you're not cool with that, listen anyway!